


As Many Burgers as You'd Like

by kindredghosts



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Connie and Reiner are roommates, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Sasha and Bertolt are over all the time so they might as well live there, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 00:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11497641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kindredghosts/pseuds/kindredghosts
Summary: Connie and Sasha have college exams to study for and plan an all night study session, but who are they kidding? Of course they spend most of it playing video games and goofing off. They make a bet, and the loser has to buy the winner as many burgers as they want. A winner is about to emerge when Bertolt leaves a not-so-nice surprise for them.





	As Many Burgers as You'd Like

**Author's Note:**

> This is a really silly fic that I wrote. I hope that you read this and it makes you smile :)

Energy drinks with their tabs pulled off and half opened textbooks littered the coffee table and the living room floor. A day old pizza box holding the last half-eaten slice was shoved to the side of the couch. This scene was the only evidence left of Sasha and Connie’s short lived all-night study session. Currently, they sat side by side on a couch leaning forward, shoulders pressed up against one another, eyes glued to a screen where they were duking it out in a tournament style video game.

They had spent the better part of the morning controlling different characters and were finally on their final round. They were both left with their best fighters. Connie’s favourite character excelled in agility and quick attacks, whereas Sasha preferred fighters that used ranged and delayed attacks.

“Hey Connie, what about a bet?” Sasha tugged at the pull string of her hoodie. It was several sizes too big and that’s what she loved about it. Connie was wearing a graphic tee and sweat pants.

“What?” Connie stuck his tongue out in concentration.

“Loser buys as many burger as the winner wants at Titan’s Burgers.”

Connie’s eyebrow arched. “As much as they want?”

Sasha nodded zealously, eyes almost glazing over as she thought about it. “Even if it’s a month’s worth of rent!” Sasha pressed a button in rapid succession, bombarding Connie’s character with attacks. “BURGERS!!!”

Connie countered with a successfully executed combo, knocking her character to the ground. “You don’t know what you’re in for Blouse,” Connie huffed. “I’m going to make you buy me so much you won’t be able to afford rent and get evicted.” Sasha’s character’s health bar was pushed into the red. A mini animation flashed across screen. “Looks like you’ll be crashing here!”

“Who will be crashing here?” Reiner and Bertolt walked into the living room. Backpacks slung over their shoulders.

“Sasha made a bet-”

“It’s not over yet!” Sasha screamed, guiding her character to crack open a piñata of sorts releasing an assortment of food, which served as the healing items of the game. “FOOD NEVER FAILS ME! Take that Shorty!”

“YOU’VE GOT TO ME KIDDING ME!” Connie groaned –loudly – to  the ceiling.

“Karma is a dish best served cold!”

Reiner shook his head. “I think you’ve gotten two different sayings mixed up there, Potato Girl.”

“That was _one time_ Reiner!” Sasha said through gritted teeth, hands squeezing the controller.

Bertolt had apparently slipped his bag to the floor and was gathering empty cans in his arms. Reiner flicked him. “Don’t clean up after them! They’ll never learn.” Bertolt left the mess and straightened.

Reiner crossed his arms and turned to Connie, “anyway, she can stay here as long as she stays away from my side of the fridge!”

Sasha paused the game –

“Hey!” Connie exclaimed.

–and spun to face Reiner. She locked him in her glare.

Reiner held his hands up in defense. “I swear I lose weight after you visit because all the food _mysteriously_ disappears. I woke to noises one night and found you passed out with your _head_ _in the fridge_.”

Bertolt rested a hand on Reiner’s shoulder and Reiner automatically turned his ear. “I thought you said you thought that was a dream?” Bertolt asked.

Reiner shook his head. “I really don’t know,” he looked pointingly at Sasha who had stretched out her leg and managed to pinch the pizza box between her toes drag it towards herself. She peeled cheese off the lid and placed it on the last slice. She held it up to Reiner who declined. Sasha shrugged and then shoved it into her mouth.

“I’ve seen stranger things during the day,” he concluded.

Music from the game resumed.

“Not fair! Don’t unpause the game without telling me!” Connie shouted at her, eyes snapping back to the screen, his thumbs finding their hold on his controller again.

“Heading to school now, then working late,” Reiner called out as he walked towards the front door with Bertolt. “Don’t wait up.” Reiner winked.

Connie heard the wink in his voice and rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Ah! Sasha calm down with the booby traps – hey!!”

Reiner laughed, “oh you don’t have to be shy when all these people around, I know how you really feel.”

“Oh, just go and kiss your reflection, already.”

Bertolt snickered and they both left, the front door swinging closed behind them.

Connie and Sasha were concentrated on the game. Sasha trapped Connie’s character in blast and finally brought his health bar into the red. Their scores were evenly matched.

Connie cursed just as Sasha’s hand flew to her face.

“Who farted?” Connie pinched his nose.

Sasha coughed. “It’s like rotten eggs but, like, _sweet_.”

“No, no, no…more like someone was making a stew and mixed armpit sweat, dog piss, and garbage sludge!”

Sasha gagged at the description and started to get up from the couch.

“If you leave now you forfeit and I win!”

“Con-nie! I think it’s burning holes in my lungs!”

“If you’re not strong enough to endure the pain, then you aren’t worthy of being crowned the victor!”

“ _CONNIE THERE’S LITERALLY TEARS IN YOUR EYES.”_

Connie scrunched up his nose, his eyes narrowing into slits. “Like I said.”

A smile tugged at her lips despite the toxins penetrating the room. “Fine,” she tucked a leg under her bum. “THIS IS FOR BURGERS!” She yelled and shot Connie’s character with arrows from behind. “And you’re completely clueless like usual, this smell is like being stuck on a hot and crowded bus between some guy who hasn’t showered and another who thought it was socially acceptable to eat a garlic and onion sandwich without brushing their teeth after.

Connie moaned, “you’re making it worse Sasha.”

Reiner dry heaved behind them. They both turned to see him grabbing his forgotten keys from the dish near the front door, “Bert, was that you?”

“Sorry!” Bertolt popped his head through the door.

Reiner waved the smell away from his nose, “You could to sell your farts to the government as a secret weapon!” A jeering tone was layered into his voice, “Bert’s farts are silent _but deadly_. I guess I won’t have to worry about my food getting stolen! Although, I’ll need post an ad for a new roommate! It was nice knowing you Connie.”

He walked through the door again and elbowed Bertolt in the stomach. “You’re just full of hot air, huh?” Bertolt frowned and his eyes darted from side to side.

 “Leave the door-”

“-open so the smell-”

“-gets out!” Connie and Sasha’s pleads went ignored as the door clicked shut. Somehow the smell got worse.

“Did he fart again?” Connie exclaimed.

“We’re gunna die in here.” Sasha slouched, hoping that the end would come quickly. “Connie, I think this is goodbye.”

Connie pressed a hand against his forehead (before promptly returning it to the controller), “I never thought my life would end – at such a young age – by a haze of butt fumes.”

Sasha snorted and smashed the buttons, “why don’t you just _stand still_ for a second, and then you won’t have to meet such a tragic fate.” She exhaled, “although that would be a funny caption on your headstone ‘Here lies one that met his demise because of Bertolt’s farts’.”

Connie shook his head, “he must have eaten gym sneakers.”

“More like bad sushi!”

They both burst out in a giggling fit. Connie choked and ducked his chin into his t-shirt trying to cover his nose without using his hands. Sasha dove into the couch cushions but she couldn’t properly use her controller in that position so buried her nose into Connie’s side, bunching up his shirt to cover her nose.

Connie lifted his arms up in surprise. “What are you doing?!” 

“Wut’s it ook like?” The fabric of his shirt muffled her words.

“Then I’m using your hair,” Connie took a strand between his upper lip and nose so it looked like he had a huge mustache.

Sasha started laughing then coughed. “It burns!!! It hurts to laugh!”

Blades clashed on screen, sparks flew, and the music crescendoed.

“The smell! How is it _still_ here?”

“I know!” Sasha pushed herself up and buried a nose in a couch pillow.

Connie took this chance to fall back into Sasha’s lap and bury _his_ nose in _her_ shirt.

“Hey that tickles!”

“Oh yeah!?” He poked fingers into her sides making her laugh harder – and in turn – cough harder.

“Uncle!” She shouted. “Please! It smells so bad I think I’m going to cry!”

However, onscreen she went in for the final blow which Connie’s character blocked and then countered. Their weapons caught, and there was an explosion as both players flew out of bounds.

The match ended in a tie.

“No way!”

“Stop!”

They looked at each other and laughed and gasped for clean oxygen. Connie nodded in the direction of outside and Sasha jumped up with Connie right behind. They burst out onto the lawn.

“FRESH AIR!!!”

Sasha tumbled to the grass and laid with her face to the sky.

“MY LUNGS DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY WANT TO MURDER ME ANYMORE!”

“I wouldn’t wish that smell on my worst enemies,” Connie said sucking up the clean air.

They both doubled over in laughter. Sasha rolled into a sitting position.

“Titan Burgers?” Connie asked a lop-sided grin plastered to his face.

“Definitely.”

Just as Connie reached for his pants pocket, Sasha touched the side of her bra.

“I left my wallet!”

“My bus pass is in my backpack which…”

Sasha and Connie locked eyes and then peeked at the house.

They held out a hand each.

“Rock Paper Scissors to decide who has to go back in there?”

**Author's Note:**

> So no matter which AU Bertolt is in, he is full of hot air...and it's deadly.
> 
> We must fill the Springles tag with more Connie and Sasha centered fics! They are such a blast to write.
> 
> PS: The video game they are playing is a kind of hybrid between Injustice and Super Smash Bros.


End file.
